Do you know that game?
When a group of different shapes is introduced to you and you are asked to examine the shapes or patterns to discover the one that does not belong?
Some times I feel that I have been playing this game all of my life. And always, I have been the odd shape.
Now I have been born a Muslim, alhamdulellah. And my parents were married as committed Muslims, and that ,too, is something I am thankful for. I am a Circassian, and have been born and raised in Jordan. Among traditional Arab communities, religious and non-religious people might live in coherence because most of Arabic traditions are not -in general- open. Arabs tend to separate men and women on their every day life. Their women tend to wear either thobes or abayas, and hijab is part of their dressing code. They do tend to "hide" their women. And a woman exposing herself to a man could be a dead woman! Even of we are talking about the mere act of talking to a man.
Circassians are different, however. The traditional Circassian community is open. Historically, marriage has always been based on love stories. Men and women can meat and talk and play music and dance, however, under lots of restrictions. Touching is forbidden, looking rudely at one another is forbidden. Laughing and raising voices or having women talking in a tempting way is highly unwelcome. Both men and women must keep their poise, must never stare, and not look one another in the eye. Circassian dancing is very decent. It is more like marching. Women are not allowed to show their charm or the attractions of their bodies while dancing. Women's dancing must reflect their delicacy, physical skill and control, poise and chastity. Alot of Circassian Muslims nowadays live that life: they do their Islamic duties like praying and fasting...etc, but they can be less strict with hijab, or not wear hijab at all. The society is in general mixed. And in parties they make Circassian dancing circles and dance together, men and women, to Circassian Music.
I have not been raised neither as an Arab Muslim nor like a regular Cisrcassian.
Since my early childhood, the separation between what is Islamic and what is Arab has been clear in my head. The forbidding of Zina and its introductions, for example is a core Islamic issue. However, what can be an introduction to Zina, might be defined according to culture. In a society in which women are 100% separated from men, and women do ALL cover their faces and NEVER talk to men who are not mahrems, the simple action of showing a woman's face or talking to a man could be an introduction to Zina. But for a community like the Circassian community, where men and women interact on daily bases, a woman can have a long ordinary conversation with a man and never ignite the slightest thought of Zina in his mind.
This understanding of Islam made us weird to all.
In the religious community of our friends, we were seen as "open minded". Whereas in our family's Circassian community, we were considered as overly strict.
To add to that, my father has specific standards when it came to what we watch and with what we play. He never liked that fact that we would watch low quality cartoon shows in which drawing was not good and movement was not smooth. He criticized the local cartoon shows that our local TV station aired all the time. He always provided VCR tapes for Disney movies, but never allowed us to watch them alone except after he watched them several times with us. While he was watching with us, he would make sure to: stress the goodness of the good, stress the evil of the evil, explain how does the positive values fit within Islam and how the message of good vs. evil does not contradict our Islamic beliefs, and make sure to explain, at times of kisses and embraces between princes and princesses for example, that they do this because they are not Muslims, and if they were Muslims the stories would be the same except for the kissing and touching.
That made us TOO weird to the rest of people around us. Now I know that we were UNIQUE, but at that time every one made us feel WEIRD!
Now how would that reflect on specific aspects of our lives?
The coming posts would explain more!
Stay tuned.... :-)
When a group of different shapes is introduced to you and you are asked to examine the shapes or patterns to discover the one that does not belong?
Some times I feel that I have been playing this game all of my life. And always, I have been the odd shape.
Now I have been born a Muslim, alhamdulellah. And my parents were married as committed Muslims, and that ,too, is something I am thankful for. I am a Circassian, and have been born and raised in Jordan. Among traditional Arab communities, religious and non-religious people might live in coherence because most of Arabic traditions are not -in general- open. Arabs tend to separate men and women on their every day life. Their women tend to wear either thobes or abayas, and hijab is part of their dressing code. They do tend to "hide" their women. And a woman exposing herself to a man could be a dead woman! Even of we are talking about the mere act of talking to a man.
Circassians are different, however. The traditional Circassian community is open. Historically, marriage has always been based on love stories. Men and women can meat and talk and play music and dance, however, under lots of restrictions. Touching is forbidden, looking rudely at one another is forbidden. Laughing and raising voices or having women talking in a tempting way is highly unwelcome. Both men and women must keep their poise, must never stare, and not look one another in the eye. Circassian dancing is very decent. It is more like marching. Women are not allowed to show their charm or the attractions of their bodies while dancing. Women's dancing must reflect their delicacy, physical skill and control, poise and chastity. Alot of Circassian Muslims nowadays live that life: they do their Islamic duties like praying and fasting...etc, but they can be less strict with hijab, or not wear hijab at all. The society is in general mixed. And in parties they make Circassian dancing circles and dance together, men and women, to Circassian Music.
I have not been raised neither as an Arab Muslim nor like a regular Cisrcassian.
Since my early childhood, the separation between what is Islamic and what is Arab has been clear in my head. The forbidding of Zina and its introductions, for example is a core Islamic issue. However, what can be an introduction to Zina, might be defined according to culture. In a society in which women are 100% separated from men, and women do ALL cover their faces and NEVER talk to men who are not mahrems, the simple action of showing a woman's face or talking to a man could be an introduction to Zina. But for a community like the Circassian community, where men and women interact on daily bases, a woman can have a long ordinary conversation with a man and never ignite the slightest thought of Zina in his mind.
This understanding of Islam made us weird to all.
In the religious community of our friends, we were seen as "open minded". Whereas in our family's Circassian community, we were considered as overly strict.
To add to that, my father has specific standards when it came to what we watch and with what we play. He never liked that fact that we would watch low quality cartoon shows in which drawing was not good and movement was not smooth. He criticized the local cartoon shows that our local TV station aired all the time. He always provided VCR tapes for Disney movies, but never allowed us to watch them alone except after he watched them several times with us. While he was watching with us, he would make sure to: stress the goodness of the good, stress the evil of the evil, explain how does the positive values fit within Islam and how the message of good vs. evil does not contradict our Islamic beliefs, and make sure to explain, at times of kisses and embraces between princes and princesses for example, that they do this because they are not Muslims, and if they were Muslims the stories would be the same except for the kissing and touching.
That made us TOO weird to the rest of people around us. Now I know that we were UNIQUE, but at that time every one made us feel WEIRD!
Now how would that reflect on specific aspects of our lives?
The coming posts would explain more!
Stay tuned.... :-)
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