Milk White... Chocolate Brown... Coffee Dark...

So sister Zara wrote a post about skin color. I said I would write about it here. So here I go...

I am some one with a very light skin tone. Circassians are, in general, white in skin and dark in hair and eyes. So although one can run into Circassians with a darker skin tone (like my sister's husband, for example), most of us, Circassians, are white. I am not just white, I am pale white.

Now being a Circassian living in the Land of Arabia, my skin color is the skin color of minority, the majority are of a darker skin tone. When positions are reversed, things are viewed in a different perspective. Here, I am the odd skin color, and if I was not VERY convinced with the color that Allah subhanahu wa taala has given me, I would have listened to the tens of women who have told me whenever they saw me without hijab: "Ooooh my God! You are sooo pale! You are so much in need of a tan!"

Dark being the color of the majority, here having a skin with a dark tone would mean that you are an original Arab. A daughter or son of a large tribe. It would mean that you are beautiful and have a sense of humor (Dont ask me what is the connection! This is what people say...) Having a tanned skin would also mean that you are a free person, not some one locked inside rooms and under roofs. It means that you can afford to go to private pools and take off your hijab and lay under the sun, or maybe even having your own pool! Being white would mean that you are either a foreigner or have a foreign blood in your veins... that you are hidden behind walls... that you are not a cool person, that you do not go out in sun... and that you are dull (again, I have no idea what is the connection!)

So not in every context would a white skin be a source of pride...

Adding to that, white skin is not a good indication of health!

- People with white skin are usually with vitamin D deficiency

- People with white skin are more prone to sun burns (I get burnt in the shade some times if it is so hot!) and sun allergies

- People with white skin are much... much more prone to skin cancer, specially if they are with moles

- White skin can be a serious indication for the lack of iron in the blood

And in spite of the fact that tanned is the color of superiority here, consider the following: white men are NEVER considered beautiful here. NEVER. Not even good. Or nice. But when it comes to marriage, those aunties who look for their sons for arranged marriages would some times specify that they want a white girl to be the future bride of the lucky son. Yes, these same aunties that would praise the beauty and originality of their tanned daughters would look for their sons for white brides! What feeling does that leave us with? The same feeling that one would get when reading Amin Maalouf's "Leon the African". White women MIGHT be seen as beautiful some times, but they are inferior. Harem. Slaves. Just like the white jaariyah (woman slave) would be free to practice whatever sort of temptation she likes because she is cheap, however, the tanned -Arab- wife would not do because it would underestimate her position as a daughter of a known tribe! Oh, yes... read the book and you will know what I am talking about... and this attitude, which exists with some people until today, makes me feel that, even in the twenty first century, and in spite of being from a nation that accepted Islam for hundreds of years now, and sacrificed and shed alot of blood for choosing to be, we are still Harem. Mamluks. Mawali. May be white, may be beautiful (in the eyes of some), but never as good. This is, of course, not a feeling we live with all the time, but yes, with some people this feeling just ATTACKS. Because of what they say and do.

Now this does not mean that I hate the fact that I am white. I love being white. But not because white is better. Or more beautiful. No. It is simply because that's what I am. Allah subhanahu wa taala has created me this way and I am happy with it. With all the complications that this leaves me with, Allah has chosen this for me, so I am satisfied. Besides, white skin is part of the features of my ethnicity. Those features that make me feel nostalgic. The features that remind me with the simple childhood I lived. My grandmother... my aunts... the old oven... my grandma's home made bread... the chicken house... the huge lemon tree that we used to look for worms and mushrooms in its shade... the smell of my grandma's clean head scarf when we hugged her... the smell of the mattresses in her living room (yes, my grandma's living room had mattresses, not couches :-) )... That's what I feel when I think of "white" being the skin color of my people...

But that does not mean that I look down at other colors! Because if so, I would be looking down at people of my own family! My dad is tanned... my sister's husband is tanned... my little niece is tanned (my sister -her mother- calls her tiny fingers Twix bars :-) )... These members of my family are just as good to me as I and my husband, and my extremely-white son are!

I do thank God that my family consists of all colors... we have lighter skin and darker skin... we have light blond hair, dark blond hair, and black hair... we have grey eyes, green eyes, hazel eyes, and dark brown eyes... and we are all beautiful! All of these colors are just so dear to me... I love them all... and the beauty of our family is that it is colorful! Al hamdulellah...

So to sisters with a darker skin tone:

You might think that you are not beautiful because you are not white... THIS IS WRONG!

You might think that other sisters with a dark skin are less beautiful than those with white skin... THIS IS WRONG!

Whatever your skin color is, it is beautiful because it is your color... Because Allah subhanahu wa taala has chosen it for you... it is Allah's gift!

A husband who will choose you for your skin color is not some one who is worth bleaching your skin for! Trust me!

Look at Hollywood and Bollywood stars celebrating their color... is Halle Berry a better Muslim than you are? Is Kareena Kappur a better Muslim than you are?

Look at Oprah Winfrey who has spent her TV career while proud with her dark skin...

Do all of these people understand Allah's wisdom better than you do?

Or you want to end up like poor Michael Jackson who spent his life suffering the side effects of bleaching, and ended up ruining the handsome face that Allah subhanahu wa taala has given him?

Just love yourself... love your color... we are beautiful because we are different...

And thank Allah for he created you so beautiful...

And turn your face away from future husbands who look for a white skin... they do not know how to look for a wife... and they will suffer the outcomes of their wrong methods...

And lets all celebrate our diversity! Let every one of us like her own color, as well as the colors of every one else!