Music...

 So as I mentioned previoysly, I am Circassian. My father, before he became a committed Muslim, used to be an accordionist, playing all sorts of music, but specifically our traditional Circassian music. And even during our upbringing, and although he stopped playing in public, he used to play for us whenever he got an accordion available, and he used to listen to Circassian music. Always we have been swinging between considering music as haraam and stopping it completely, and considering that what was haraam would be only specific types of music and that it would be ok to listen to some "innocent" music from time to another.

At the time when I passed my high school exams, the trend was to hold a party to celebrate that. We, as a family, existed between our relatives, who -in general- were the not-so-religiously-committed type, and our friends from our Islamic school and the children of my parents' religious friends. In the world of relatives, the parties would be mixed folklore parties in which boys and girls would dance on Circassian music (which is a very decent type of dancing, by the way). In the world of religious friends, parties would be for women only, and women would wear whatever they wanted (some times VERY revealing clothes) and would belly-dance on Islamic wedding nasheeds (which included alot of dance theme percussion, by the way).

Now neither of these suited the mentality of our family. Belly dancing was something very shameful in our house, even if it was only women. So the plan for my party was that I and my sisters would wear Circassian dresses, and the women only party will have no nasheeds so that no one would do a belly dancing show in our house! :-D The music would be Circassian, and we would do a couple of dances in which women would do the roles of both men and women in each dance. After that every one would be invited to eat and then have desserts.

Circassian Dress

And the plan went on... except that I and my sisters were very shy, everything was OK and nice.

Until one of my mom's friends arrived... she greeted every one and shook hands, and then took her seat. The music was off at the time in respect of the Athaan. Once the Athaan was finished and evry one recited the duaa, we turned on the music.

And my mom's friend exclaimed in a VERY high voice, higher than the music so every one hears her: "Oh my God! Umm ......(my mom)! Music in your house! Music in the house of sheikh .....! (my father, who is not a sheikh at all, by the way!)

Then she walked to the stereo cassette recorder (oh, yes, I am that old LoL) and turned it off, and said: I would not listen to munkar. If you wish to listen to munkar then wait until I leave and then turn the music on.

I, of course, stared at her with a stupid blank smile. No one dared challenge that lady. My mom, who is a very shy lady, said nothing. I swallowed that with a sigh, and with a nervous smile I headed to my room and locked myself there, and cried for some time. Then I wiped my tears off my make-up-less face and went back to my silent party. People ate and chatted for some time and then they left.

And the days went by...

And this lady's daughter, who is one year younger than me, was getting married, and we were invited. And guess what?

The daughter's party was mixed, men and women. She wore hijab with a full make-up and a tight dress. There was MUSIC in her party which men and women danced to!

And I had to apologize politely because I do not attend mixed parties (that is, also, a whole different subject).

And that sore memory remained in my mind: the lady who spoiled my high school party for she did naseeha in the harshest way she could!

Is music really a very serious issue in one's deen that worth offering that type of naseeha?

I really wonder!