Lucy Maud Montgomry!

And google is celebrating the 141st birthday of L. M. Montgomry! :-)

And Anne of the Green Gables is all around Google...

And I am so happy :-D

So Sweet!

Ok, I confessed this before...

But I have to do it over and over...

Being a mother messes with one's emotions A BIG TIME!

Today, my eyes were tearing when I watched this brave little boy singing the Australian National Antheme:

He was amazing! I bet that his mother was standing in the stadium and clapping her hands out with teary eyes...

God bless the little boy <3I truly wanted to hug him...

I want to see my little boy like him one day...

Sweetly, humbly and quietly self-confident :-)

Keeping Warm...

It is a great feeling to know that your baby is sleeping warm because of something that you have made with your own hands... <3

On Knowing People That We Do Not Really Know...

I have followed the blog of Zahraa, Umm Ahmad, for some time.

Zahraa is a mother of two cute little children: a boy, Ahmad, and a girl, Hamida.

Her good heart, her genuine smile and her beautiful nature are not something that one can ignore. She is, also, the same age as my youngest sister, so I can relate :-)

Zahraa disappeared for some time. Then she came back with the news that her boy, Ahmad, was diagnosed with diabetes. This was more than four months ago. She then disappeared again.

Since that day, and specially that I now have a baby boy, I became very concerned for her. Today I went over her older posts and looked at how her little boy grew up. I was able to see glimpses of my little boy in them. And as much as I hate to see anything bad happening to my own son, I also am so worried about anything bad happening to hers.

I am not sure if she is following her blog any more, which is -by the way- a blog for ladies only. I do not know if she will ever see this.

But I am asking you all (AAAAALLLLLLL you, millions of readers!) to keep her and her beautiful family in your prayers. May Allah keep her, her husband, sweet little Ahmad and Hamida, healthy and happy. Ameen.

Paris...

And again, Paris was attacked. This time, the death toll is outstanding.

The reactions varied. The international media is showing alot of compassion. Worldwide sites are being let with the colors of the French flag. People around the world have given different reactions: from seeing the international media as biased, and trying their best to justify the attacks, to the other extreme of considering the casualties of France as the only casualties that deserve compassion and give a blind eye to all of the death and suffering in other areas around the world (famine casualties are deaths, as well, and they are dying because of the negligence of the whole world!)...

And as usual, I watch for some time in silence. I peek through my little facebook window (my account that has ONLY my close family and close friends) to watch what people say about this.

And my analysis for what is happening led me to a conclusion: we, in the middle east, feed on hatred. In a way that makes any sympathy with what might be marked as "other" to be considered as treachery! 

Take out bias from what happened in Paris, take out any indications to religions or origins, and try to describe it: several people have attacked and killed a group of people that they do not know, the choice being made on the basis of the victims being present in that specific place when the attackers decided to shoot. Most probably, the attackers has never met any of the victims in their lives and they do not know a bit about them.

Is there any way in which this can be justified? NO!

Now when we put the origins of the people and their religions back in, the image darkens even more.

Reactions in the middle east varied between:

- Showing exaggerated sympathy as a way of marketing one's self to the "west", most probably to Embassies of Western countries, these are the people who are potential refugees or immigrants, or have some sort of interest in mind, like obtaining work or study visas

- Underestimating what happened under the pretext that these casualties are not more precious than the innocent victims being killed every day in Syria and Iraq and Palestine (because, you know, before you sympathize with any terrorist attack around the world you need to swear and pledge allegiance to Palestine, Syria, Iraq, Pakistan, Myanmar... etc)

- Trying to bring back to the scene what the French colonialism has committed in North Africa as a way to deter people from showing any sympathy with the attacks and marking sympathizers are people with less loyalty to their ARAB Muslim identity.

What, people?

Isn't human blood precious enough? Aren't human souls of any worth? Or we should pass our compassion through our identity filters and just feel sympathy with whoever we mark as (us) and refrain from doing so for any one we see as (other)?

We have a tendency to concentrate on the ideology of (identity). We have a strong feeling of being (us). We are extremely indulged in producing labels to categorize people: Muslims, Christians, Jews... Sunni, Shea... Hanafi, Shafe'i, Maleki, Hanbali... Jordanian, Syrian, Iraqi, Egyptian... Arab, African, Circassian, Chechen... Eastern, Western, Northern, Southern... Islamist, Marxist, Liberal... And in order for one to open up for another, they should be identical in AAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLL of these layers... any slightest difference in any of these layers can be a time bomb that might explode at any time!

What is happening in our countries is a direct result of the hatred that we are keen to feed and raise inside us. I know... external parties who have interests in our region have a role in the chaos flaming around the middle east, this is not some thing that I can deny. But if some one is standing on the edge of a cliff and is preparing himself to commit suicide, and another one comes and just gives him the tiny push off the cliff, do not we still consider the person responsible for his own death to a far extent?

Also, we have created an unbelievable case of confusion for the whole world. In the beginning of the civil war in Syria, for example, no one interfered (at least on the official level). The Arab masses condemned the silence of the international community and asked them to stop the war in Syria. When the international community made a move, the Arab masses justified the attacks on France by the fact that it interfered in Syria.

COME ON, PEOPLE!

WHAT EXACTLY DO WE WANT?

Do we want to be left alone until we settle our own internal affairs (and most probably, finish each other, eventually)?

Or we want the international community (AKA the infidel West) to interfere and solve our problems for us (and most probably so that we can retaliate by waging attacks against their civilians)?

Or we want the international community (again, AKA the infidel West) to counsel each and every one of us on what we want in order to satisfy every single Arab and grant us peace on our social media timelines?

PLEASE!

Let us get rid of all of that segregates us. We are all humans. Let the governments deal with governments, and let us, people, deal with people. Napoleon Bonaparte is long dead. And the people in France today are NOT the colonial powers that have once invaded North Africa. These are human beings like us, who want to work and make a living, and be able to go home at the end of the day and take care of their families.

I am qouting Debbie Qalballah here, as she has put it in words in exactly the way it has to be put:

"And that’s the reason I wrote this. Never stop being a hero. In a world that benefits from our hatred, never fall into hate. Refuse to be polarised. Never think of another human as the “Other”. Realise patriotism cannot hidden behind if your government acts unjustly. Stand up for truth. Demand justice for all people. Commit yourself to democracy. Put reason above fear. Realise that ordinary people everywhere are frightened and that we have more in common than we don’t. Remember who the real enemy is: it is greed. Never stop being an ordinary, everyday, marvelous, run-of-the-mill, salt-of-the-earth, trail-blazing, superstar of a hero. It will take every single one us standing up for justice everywhere that will make the change."

My Receipes' Treasure!

Humbly, (LoL)... My family and friends believe that I make the best of cakes...

Oh, but they are not all a mere product of my creativity...

There is a magical well where I deg to take the treasures out of...

Please get to know my valuable source!... (and whisper a prayer for me when you taste them ;-) )

On Insuffeciency...

Have you ever come across people who are very good in the heart but are not capable of doing anything right?

I have!

And this girl honestly has challenged my whole system of thought!

I was introduced to her when I re-joined my organization after I left it for a year and a half. I used to run across her in the past at the entrance but it was no more than the casual "Hello... how are you?" "Fine, thanks" with a casual smile. And since the first time I met her I could tell that she is an EXTREMELY polite and well behaved girl. But as I rejoined the organization, this time, she was with me in the same team.

And we happened to be in the W.O.R.S.T. team ever. This team is known all around the organization with its lack of professionalism, their lousy performance, their arrogance, and the belief that they can do whatever they want and that they have the right to make up their own SOPs and that they do not have to comply with the SOPs that apply for others! Oh, and the bullying activity is well and alive there, too.

This girl, was the weakest point in the team. They used to dump all of their rubbish on her! They assigned the worst tasks to her, they always accused her of being slow, they always tracked her tiniest mistakes, they always told her that she was insufficient, they always told her that she was a loser, and they always used a bad tone to talk to her. They used to move her from office to office like a ping pong ball.

I have always sympathized with her. I always supported her. And I always told her that when she was right she had to speak up and defend herself. But then I moved to another department. One of my friends once told me that after she defended her in a situation, she talked to her and told her that she needs to be brave enough and speak out her mind. The next time her senior asked her to do something that she really had to do (and she asked her to do it in a very neutral tone) she exploded in her face and told her that she is in no place to "command her" and that she does not have the right to talk to her this way or ask her to do things and that she will escalate this to management! The senior was shocked! Her senior, of course, told her coldly that she asked her to do something within her TORs, and that her contract forces her to do it. And she told her that if she speaks in this tone again she will inform their manager. In the next team meeting, the manager told every one that they have to comply with their TORs, and that if any one refuses to do they will be reported to the management. My friend was so ashamed and was looking at the floor all the time. every one sneaked looks at her because they knew that she was the one who initiated all of this. This was sure! Because she has made a scene two days ago!

With time, I was able to see how polite, innocent, well intended this girl is. At the beginning I used to think that every one in that infamous team was conspiring against her because she was the weakest point in the team. But time proved otherwise. It was true that she was bullied, but that was not the whole issue.

My new team once came to a point where we needed assistance from other teams. He team sent her to us because they were happy to get rid of her for some time. So she joined us. The job was to take inquiry interviews from refugees. DESPERATE refugees, to be more specific. And she caused a real mess! She always needed to refer back to some one to make sure that she was releasing the correct information to refugees. She always used wrong language. She always sent follow ups full of mistakes, to the extent that our team asked her to never send any follow ups and just hand us any documents by hand and we will take necessary action. She always lacked the skill to handle difficult situation, if a refugee fainted, or cried, or shouted she used to freak out (in a way that was VERY visible to the refugees) and come running asking for help. The simplest situation was a real challenge for her! Finally, our team's senior back then asked her senior nicely to never send her to assist us on inquiry dates because we are not short of staff any more (which was wrong because we kept asking other teams for help). Every one freaked out when she came to help us, but behind her back. No one of our team wanted to hurt her.

Once, she was asked to take some physical case files to the filing room. This has to follow a certain procedure to ensure file integrity. During that procedure, she lost one of the physical files! And this is a HUGE issue for us! She went through a very stressful time, and she then confessed to me that she is convinced that some one has stolen the file and hidden it only to get her in trouble. The poor girl was so bullied to the extent that she saw every thing in the eyes of a bullied!

She once told me sadly that she has applied for positions outside of her team several times but was never taken, and that she believes that her senior was putting obstacles in her way in purpose so that she does not move to another department. The truth is that her senior is waiting for the day in which she leaves the team! But every team leader who has worked with my friend and saw her performance does not want to hire her!

This weak, the software we use was changed from one host to a new host. The new URL was released to the whole organization, and every one started using it. Suddenly we started to notice something weird, a discrepancy in numbers. When people accessed their accounts from the old URL and the new URL, they noticed that the number of tasks assigned to them was different. The IT team checked with every single person who uses the software, and it appeared that every one in the building is working on the new URL except my friend! She continued to work on the old one and caused a problem in the WHOLE building!

And until this very moment, she does not see a single wrong thing about herself or her level of skills. Every time she trips she sees that it is because of an external factor.

This became very annoying to the extent that I started avoiding her. I feel very guilty to do that because the girl is completely unaware of anything going on around her. But at the same time I cannot give a blind eye for her insufficiency to do anything in life!

I seriously thought of confronting her with the truth. But then I freaked out. What will that do except destroying her confidence? Will she be able to correct this? Is it even ethical for me to point out the problem for her and leave her to struggle alone? Can I leave everything about my life and follow her and correct behind her and become her mentor? How can I do when I am BARELY finding time to feed my husband and son and keep them clean? (forget about the house... the priority is keeping it CLEAN, but tidy? Oh!... my least priority!)

Is she my responsibility? The problem is accumulative... Can I correct the mistakes of decades of lack of awareness of her parents?

Ok... In this case I have a chance of avoiding the whole situation... but what to do if I HAD TO deal with her? What if I was her senior? What if she was in my team?

And the scariest question: shall I ever see one of my children like her?

Happy Birthday, Baby Leo!

Ok...

So in the midst of all of the incidents in our family, my son has turned one year old on October 29th, 2015 :-)

So good bye baby Leo, and welcome toddler Leo!

We did not actually "celebrate"... I invited my in-laws and my family. I baked a yummy banana cake and made a carrot-cream tart and we bought some other goodies, and the family came in and brought some gifts.

My in-laws have brought one of the most awesome gifts: two birdies :-D and now we officially have pets!

Please meet Almond and Peanut:

My son is fond of birds. And cars. And the gifts for his birthday revolved around these two LoL

The best part is when my son is in one of his night-time breast-feedings and the birdies happen to be awake and in the mood for singing (they wake up at the first signs of dawn, even before the light starts to spread). My son becomes suddenly aware with his eyes wide open and glowing in the dark, he smiles excitedly and starts whispering his excitement murmurs that sound like "hesss... hesss..." and pointing his tiny finger towards the bedroom door :-)

And on a side not, I am -for the first time since very long ago- on diet. Oooooh, yes... I have cut down sugar, carbs and fat. I reached a state where my closet is full of clothes smaller than my current size, but I am stuck with a couple of pieces that fit me now. I need more clothes. And I know for sure that if I buy clothes that fit my current size I will never be back in shape. So enough is enough! I have put aside two pairs of pants that date back to the good old days when we ere engaged, and decided that I will not stop the diet until I am able again of wearing them :-D

That's all for today...

Stay safe! :-)

Oh... My!

I have been away for some time... drowned in a couple of issues.

Life has been tough in the last couple of months. But it has been a good teacher. Two weeks after the accident, my pregnant sister who is two years younger than me delivered a baby girl. A little fighter, to be more correct.

When my sister has advanced one week through her ninth month of pregnancy, her obstetrician told her that the baby's brain has a slightly high amount of fluids. She said it was within the normal range, but on the high border. She asked to see her after a week. The next week, she told her that the baby's head circumference has reached the highest allowed size which means an increase in the fluids, and that she has to be delivered. She gave my sister two days of waiting hoping to have natural delivery started by its own, and asked her to check in to hospital if nothing happened in two days. Two LONG days later, and since nothing happened, my sister checked in to hospital. When the obstetrician checked her and the baby, she said that the head circumference has not increased, which was a good sign. And she decided that my sister's situation needs a c-section. So my sister went under surgery. Once the baby was out we all rushed to the babies' room to check on her: a tiny little pink girl who looks just like her older sister: baby Maria. She looked perfectly normal, mashaAllah. Looking around, crying, moving her arms and legs. When it was time she was bathed (and, oh! She was so annoyed by the nurse touching her and seemed to want only to be left under the flowing warm water! LOL) and she was giving bottle milk, and she was able to suck and drink her milk, alhamdulellah.

The whole family separately asked the pediatrician who checked on her if it was necessary to have a brain MRI, but he assured us all that as long as her head circumference was less than 37 cm (her's was 36 cm) and her reactions are good, there is no need for the MRI. My sister recovered the anesthetics and was sent to her room. Every thing was assuring and good that day.

Next day, I was at work. I called my mom in a cheerful voice to check on my sister and my niece, but my mom's voice was not good. I asked her what was wrong, she started crying and telling me that they did an MRI for Maria and it turns out that she suffered not only from Hydrocephalus, but also she had a hemorrhage that caused damage in more than half of her right hemisphere's brain cells!

I broke down... I was there in the middle of the office's hallway sobbing. My friends took me to my desk and started making calls to doctors they knew to know more about the situation. One of them called a very skillful brain surgeon and explained the situation, and he asked to see her MRIs. I flew to hospital and took the MRIs and went to the doctor. When he saw them he said that the hemorrhage has happened -most probably- during birth due to the difference in pressure. He said she will recover inshaAllah but she needs continuous observation and extreme care. And Maria was welcomed in our family with alot of love and caring.

At two weeks of age, she suddenly became less active, and stopped drinking milk. When she was checked by the doctor, he said that her brain pressure is very high, and that the brain fluids seem to find no exit so they are pressing on the scull. Her head circumference increased by 4 mms in one day!

So the little angel went under surgery. She had a shunt installed from her brain to her stomach to help her brain drain the extra fluids. Her brain pressure decreased right after the shunt was installed. It took her about two days to recover the anesthesia, but now, alhamdulellah, she is back to her normal activity, crying, drinking milk, moving legs and arms, and stopping to listen to voices around.

Maria is now three weeks old. Alhamdulellah, she is fine now. But the difference she made in her parents' house and the whole family is just unbelievable! She taught us ALOT of lessons...

She taught us that some times we plan our lives ahead thinking that our life is something that only WE control, forgetting that there is a God watching over us and having other plans for us...

She taught us that we do not need to be perfect in order to be accepted... in our family alhamdulellah no one ever was admitted to hospital except for baby delivery, and my dad once had a surgery to remove index. Other than that we lived all of our lives healthy, never in financial need, exceptional performance at school, all with higher education, successful in jobs... But this little baby girl taught us that we do not need to be perfect in order to be loved, and that people do not have to look perfect to us in order to love them!

She also taught us to appreciate the graces of God... She taught us to look at the child's ability to talk and thank God for it rather than look at him as annoying... And to look at a child who bumps into stuff unintentionally and breaks them as a healthy child that can move and play... She taught us to love and thank rather than complain...

She has brought out all of the tenderness in our hearts... and now, that little baby girl is just the obsession of the whole family...

We are praying for her every day... Every night when we go to sleep, we pray that tomorrow will carry to us signs that the brain damage has not affected her... And yes, with her, when the day ends, we thank Allah, and sleep not knowing what tomorrow will bring...

That little girl, the little fighter, was Allah's gift for us...

A precious gift that we pray he will keep for us, healthy, and happy...