Into the Pool!

So this post was meant to be about my experience about learning to swim during my two weeks leave from work after Eid...

I began writing and left it as a draft for some time... I meant to make it about how Sunday, July 2nd, was my first time ever to enter a pool, and that I did not find it bad. And that I, actually, was able to hold my nose and jump into the 220 cm deep side of the pool, and start treading water once I surfaced...

But last Monday was meant to be my fourth (or fifth?) swimming lesson... And I spent the whole previous day barely capable of breathing because of the stress caused by the fact that I was going to the pool next day, and that I woke up next day with the feeling that a rope was pressing around my chest, and that, once I was inside the pool, I could not even FLOAT without my hands releasing the edge of the pool!

Yes, I panicked whenever I let go of the steady ground... each time I felt I was floating freely I would hit the floor of the pool with my feet and stand up... After a couple of times of forcing myself to float, I tried doing a couple of strokes... I felt that I was dizzy and that water was about to swallow me. Again, I stood up!

I, then, told the coach that I was not ready to continue at that time. I told her that this would be my last lesson for now, and that I will not come again for another lesson.

I have been feeling bitter for a couple of days. This is the first time my fear beats me. I have always had minor fears, just like every one. But I never surrendered to them. This time I did. Not to mention the couple of weakness points that my experience within the pool have revealed.

I should take better care of myself and my life.

But regarding my fear, is it time to see a specialist? 

Modanisa

I have been wearing the hijab since I have been ten or eleven years old. I started by only covering my head and wearing long sleeves. Gradually I started to commit to a more of a jilbab-style, which, in Jordan and Palestine and Syria, refers to buttoned coats worn over normal non-hijab clothes, like a t-shirt and jeans.

As I grew up, I started having on-and-off phases of comitting to jilbab, and as I diveloped a new concept of "jilbab", which is free from the buttoned over-coat version known here in the region, all of the "jilbab variations offered in the market actually migrated from the proper concept of "jilbab" into just stylish tight coats. And that was when my struggle started. The impossible mission of finding a proper Islamic thing to wear. The suffering increased as I gained some weight when I got pregnant and after delivery, specially that I have a desk job that keeps me tied to my PC.

The hope returned after I got introduced to Modanisa!

Well, to be honest, the service is not super excellent. It is satisfactory. I haven't faced any problems with them, only that once my basket showed that they will send me a shawl gift but the did not LOL. Also, I am not so sure that I understand their pricing vs. offers vs. shipment cost policies very well. It could be me and my weak online- buying experience LOL

But!

The variety of options that they offer, for me, compensates very well for that. In addition to the clear measurements and specifications regarding each peice.

I highly recommend it, ladies.

And if you are in a country with ppen commercial borders with Turkey it is even better!

For future, I will start sharing with you what I order and keep you updated!

Happy Modanisa shopping y'all! 😁