So first thing to say is that taking care of a baby is definitely different from taking care of a toddler...
A baby is completely dependent on you... a baby reacts, and rarely initiates action (do I hear mischief?)...
And since my Leo got into toddlerhood, things are not being easy...
One: since even before he was born, I decided that I will be a perfectly quiet mom. No shouting. No screaming. I keep looking at the cover of my "Scream-Free Parenting" book and smiling to myself saying "Yes, I can do it... I can parent with love only"... let me tell you what, I am parenting with love, but with loud love. Oh, yeah.... a couple of times I shouted so far...may alittle more than a couple of times... but not so many more... ok may be I lost it for five or six times so far! But each time I apologize for my boy, and explain that this is not the correct way of talking to each other, and tell him that "Mommy was not a good girl when she shouted" and that I am sorry, and that I want us to be friends again... It is exhausting and stressful... controlling my nerves and keeping my calm is easier (ok, mama... remind of this next time when I am about to lose my nerves!!)
Two: I have always thought that I will raise my son to be a peaceful boy. No violent play. No hitting. No fighting. No superheroes (as long as this is something that I can control). No guns. No shooting make-believe. So far I am being in control of all of these, and alhamdulellah he is not interested in any kind of violent play. His ultimate favorites are vehicles and animals, and some ball kicking. BUT!!!! He hits other kids! They keep telling me this in the day care... he is not patient enough to "talk". He asks for something once, if he sees no reaction he hits. He asks a little girl who is on the swing to let him set and play with the swing, if she does not move at once, he hits her to make her understand that he means it! Well, hitting is -at least- a better option that his previous horrible way of communication: biting! Yes, he used to bite his friends... as a way of playing, as a way of showing interest, and as a way of showing anger... and let me tell you: this last type of biting some times left serious marks! once or twice he was bit back, but he was the main biter in the daycare. Back to hitting, I used to be extremely disappointed. But the other day his teacher in day care told me something that changed my perspective: there are two little girls, Beesa and Deesana, that he keeps telling me that they are naughty. He NEVER gives me any good feedback about them. He keeps ignoring them when we look at photos of daycare kids, and when I insist on asking him who these girls are, he answers "No Beesa" or "No Deesana". This lead me to think that they are really naughty girls. Or may be that they keep hitting him, or harassing or teasing him which leads him to hit them. But when I asked his teacher about the nature of his relationship with these two girls, she said that these are the most quiet girls in the day care, and that they both are the only little ones that keep quiet when he hits them. Ok, I am not sure what to feel! On one hand, this might make me feel comfortable, because this might mean that he is hitting as a way of asking for interaction, a way of communication... and he keeps saying that they are naughty because they do not interact with him like other kids... so it could be just a childly-twisted way of asking them to participate in the play...
On the other hand, though, it could be a form of the general community's tendency to elect the best, and neglect the week. Which is very annoying and stressful to me, because I look at this as a sick formalization of capitalism, and an early sign of a competitive character... (may be too much phelosophysed but yes, this is inevitable with my mind!)
Three: I am so far not being able to convince hubby to follow a certain consistent way of disciplining our little one. Not just that I have to keep my nerves calm, it is also that I have to put ALOT of effort in keeping hubby calm as well. Send him coded signals to remind him to calm down when he starts getting angry if little Leo did not behave by the book (which is not exactly what is expected from a terrible two-er!) like a wink, an eyes' flash... etc... and the problem is that I, myself, is not being able to give the ideal example that I want him to follow, which makes it even more difficult to convince him with some specifics...
These are three major sources of disappointment of a contemporary age working mother of a two-year old boy!
I am open for your input... :-)
