On Insuffeciency...

Have you ever come across people who are very good in the heart but are not capable of doing anything right?

I have!

And this girl honestly has challenged my whole system of thought!

I was introduced to her when I re-joined my organization after I left it for a year and a half. I used to run across her in the past at the entrance but it was no more than the casual "Hello... how are you?" "Fine, thanks" with a casual smile. And since the first time I met her I could tell that she is an EXTREMELY polite and well behaved girl. But as I rejoined the organization, this time, she was with me in the same team.

And we happened to be in the W.O.R.S.T. team ever. This team is known all around the organization with its lack of professionalism, their lousy performance, their arrogance, and the belief that they can do whatever they want and that they have the right to make up their own SOPs and that they do not have to comply with the SOPs that apply for others! Oh, and the bullying activity is well and alive there, too.

This girl, was the weakest point in the team. They used to dump all of their rubbish on her! They assigned the worst tasks to her, they always accused her of being slow, they always tracked her tiniest mistakes, they always told her that she was insufficient, they always told her that she was a loser, and they always used a bad tone to talk to her. They used to move her from office to office like a ping pong ball.

I have always sympathized with her. I always supported her. And I always told her that when she was right she had to speak up and defend herself. But then I moved to another department. One of my friends once told me that after she defended her in a situation, she talked to her and told her that she needs to be brave enough and speak out her mind. The next time her senior asked her to do something that she really had to do (and she asked her to do it in a very neutral tone) she exploded in her face and told her that she is in no place to "command her" and that she does not have the right to talk to her this way or ask her to do things and that she will escalate this to management! The senior was shocked! Her senior, of course, told her coldly that she asked her to do something within her TORs, and that her contract forces her to do it. And she told her that if she speaks in this tone again she will inform their manager. In the next team meeting, the manager told every one that they have to comply with their TORs, and that if any one refuses to do they will be reported to the management. My friend was so ashamed and was looking at the floor all the time. every one sneaked looks at her because they knew that she was the one who initiated all of this. This was sure! Because she has made a scene two days ago!

With time, I was able to see how polite, innocent, well intended this girl is. At the beginning I used to think that every one in that infamous team was conspiring against her because she was the weakest point in the team. But time proved otherwise. It was true that she was bullied, but that was not the whole issue.

My new team once came to a point where we needed assistance from other teams. He team sent her to us because they were happy to get rid of her for some time. So she joined us. The job was to take inquiry interviews from refugees. DESPERATE refugees, to be more specific. And she caused a real mess! She always needed to refer back to some one to make sure that she was releasing the correct information to refugees. She always used wrong language. She always sent follow ups full of mistakes, to the extent that our team asked her to never send any follow ups and just hand us any documents by hand and we will take necessary action. She always lacked the skill to handle difficult situation, if a refugee fainted, or cried, or shouted she used to freak out (in a way that was VERY visible to the refugees) and come running asking for help. The simplest situation was a real challenge for her! Finally, our team's senior back then asked her senior nicely to never send her to assist us on inquiry dates because we are not short of staff any more (which was wrong because we kept asking other teams for help). Every one freaked out when she came to help us, but behind her back. No one of our team wanted to hurt her.

Once, she was asked to take some physical case files to the filing room. This has to follow a certain procedure to ensure file integrity. During that procedure, she lost one of the physical files! And this is a HUGE issue for us! She went through a very stressful time, and she then confessed to me that she is convinced that some one has stolen the file and hidden it only to get her in trouble. The poor girl was so bullied to the extent that she saw every thing in the eyes of a bullied!

She once told me sadly that she has applied for positions outside of her team several times but was never taken, and that she believes that her senior was putting obstacles in her way in purpose so that she does not move to another department. The truth is that her senior is waiting for the day in which she leaves the team! But every team leader who has worked with my friend and saw her performance does not want to hire her!

This weak, the software we use was changed from one host to a new host. The new URL was released to the whole organization, and every one started using it. Suddenly we started to notice something weird, a discrepancy in numbers. When people accessed their accounts from the old URL and the new URL, they noticed that the number of tasks assigned to them was different. The IT team checked with every single person who uses the software, and it appeared that every one in the building is working on the new URL except my friend! She continued to work on the old one and caused a problem in the WHOLE building!

And until this very moment, she does not see a single wrong thing about herself or her level of skills. Every time she trips she sees that it is because of an external factor.

This became very annoying to the extent that I started avoiding her. I feel very guilty to do that because the girl is completely unaware of anything going on around her. But at the same time I cannot give a blind eye for her insufficiency to do anything in life!

I seriously thought of confronting her with the truth. But then I freaked out. What will that do except destroying her confidence? Will she be able to correct this? Is it even ethical for me to point out the problem for her and leave her to struggle alone? Can I leave everything about my life and follow her and correct behind her and become her mentor? How can I do when I am BARELY finding time to feed my husband and son and keep them clean? (forget about the house... the priority is keeping it CLEAN, but tidy? Oh!... my least priority!)

Is she my responsibility? The problem is accumulative... Can I correct the mistakes of decades of lack of awareness of her parents?

Ok... In this case I have a chance of avoiding the whole situation... but what to do if I HAD TO deal with her? What if I was her senior? What if she was in my team?

And the scariest question: shall I ever see one of my children like her?