When my Friends are Being Very "Middle Eastern".... Fasting

So what does being "Middle Eastern" mean here?

What I mean by "Middle Eastern" here is being so controlled by the common mentality of the Middle East and behaving as if the world consists of ONLY the Middle East. So when one is stuck in common ways of thinking without even a minimum amount of criticism, that is being Middle Eastern. When one behaves as if the "Middle East" is the reference for everything, then that is being a typical "Middle Eastern". The Middle East itself is a neutral place that has its goods and bads. Middle Eastern people also are normal humans who have their strengths and flaws. So there is nothing wrong about being a Middle Eastern.

But when some one identifies as ONLY Middle Eastern, whether consciously or not, then that's what I do not like. And yes, some of my friends have moments of being rigid "Middle Easterns".

So in Ramadan, as I mentioned before, in the organization that I work in, there are practicing Muslims, non-practicing Muslims, Arab Christians, and expats from several religious backgrounds. In short, not every one fasts in Ramadan. But in general, the atmosphere is coincident with the holy month.

Our department manager is a Christian American. And here, in our offices, we have no extra luxurious furnishing, only the basic needs for office work. Some people bring their own kettles or coffee machines. Our manager does not. So when he wants to prepare his instant coffee, he has to walk to the water cooler down the isle to get hot water. One day in Ramadhan, my friend was in my office room chatting with me over a case. Our manager passed in the corridor, apparently he was heading to bring hot water for his coffee. He had his mug in his hand. He was holding it low and trying o keep his hand as near to his body as possible so that it does not bring attention. My friend saw him and commented: "He is rude, you know! He is walking in the corridor with his mug as if he is showing us that he is not fasting!"

I smiled and said nothing. But in my head I was thinking that she looked at him really hard and inspected him to find the mug! She looked for the mug... if she was not thinking about it I bet the she would have not noticed!

This same friend once came to me telling me she is very irritated by her office mate. Because she eats in Ramadan. The other girl is a non practicing Muslim. She does not fast, but she respects that other people are fasting. My friend came to me complaining that in the beginning of Ramadan her room mate used to eat in office but she said it was ok because the other girl had her period so she had a reason for not fasting. But then she continued eating. I asked my friend: "What does she eat? Like "real" food?" She replied: "The other day she cut an apple with the knife and the smell filled the room!" so I thought "Ok, all of this is for an apple! ok let's see what else she has to say" then my friend said: "and today she has put powder milk and sugar in the bowl and added hot water and cereal and the smell filled the office" Ok! now what I know is that my friend does not like cereal! So I asked: "So you usually like cereal and she is now eating cereal in front of you while you are fasting?" she said: "No, I do not usually like cereal, but you know, I am a human of flesh and blood and when you are fasting every thing smells nice!"... Okaaaaay... here I was silent because whatever I said my friend would not accept it. Her room mate was -obviously- trying to avoid any real food at office. And she tried to concentrate on things that my friend usually do not like. But apparently my friend was expecting her to fast at office and to eat NOTHING. Well, if she is not fasting for Allah, do you want her to fast for you? Besides, she is eating inside her office, not in public, so you cannot say she was violating the holiness of the month.

This is something that we, Middle Eastern people, like to do. We do not want to miss any fun. And we want to obey Allah at the same time. When we want to fast in Ramadan, we want every one around us to fast. If we catch a glimpse of a cigarette somewhere, we feel bitter. If we wear hijab, we feel bitter about every non-hijabi around us who dresses elegant and catches the eyes with her flowing hair and sweet perfume. If we decide to keep our virtue and minimize our interaction with men, we feel bitter about every extrovert woman or girl who talks to her colleagues freely and who seems liked by her male colleagues.

I guess that we should work more on the bases of our attitude toward Islamic commitment.

If I decide that I want to fast in Ramadan then I should have my niyyah (intention) sincere for Allah. If my intention is satisfying Allah then I will definitely be ok with missing the fun for the sake of having Allah subhanahu wa taala satisfied with me. Even if every body around me are eating yummy foods, I would be more excited about me being in an action of warship between me and Allah. It would really not bother me that others are eating while I am fasting. When I want to wear hijab, I should know that I would be compromising a considerable part of my elegance for the sake of obeying Allah, and be happy. Even if I was the only one in the team's group photo with a headscarf and plain loose cothes while every one else are showing their flowing hair and slender figures in tight suits and elegant skirts. I should be totally OK with that. Because my target is of a much more value.

You know what I feel about those moments when I am obeying Allah while longing for the fun of alhayatu aldunya? I feel that I am a human on the outside but a jellyfish on the inside.

I do not know what is the relationship! May be because I feel that my inside is tender and sluggish, while I love to look at my inside as strong, firm and rooted deep enough.