So since the beginning of Ramadan, I have been taking baby Leo to a day care. I made sure to chose it VERY WELL, because I already used to be very worried about him even when he was with my family (the first baby syndrome, I know!). So I made alot of research about this place and reached to a conclusion that, although it is a relatively EXPENSIVE place, but I want to leave my son there because they seem to be trustworthy. SubhanAllah, when we went there to register baby Leo, we found out that the father of the "teacher" that is responsible for babies, and who will be taking care of Leo, is hubby's cousin!
The owner of the day case center is a woman with a really good heart. She overlooks babies herself.
Now baby Leo, mashaAllah, is a clever baby. I noticed that. Ok now I will sound as if I am bragging, but please force yourself to think that I am not LoL... but among the children of our family, he seems normal. Our family tends to concentrate on cleverness of their children. They used to start teaching us as soon as they felt we are able to observe. At 9 months, I started talking :-D when we went to school, our performance at school was vital. There was NO TOLERANCE regarding knowledge and skills. At a certain age, my father started criticizing me if I read comic magazines all the time :-D he used to say: "Comics are good from time to time, but they do not improve our brains if we read them all the time. Read something useful, baba!" And he ALWAYS was welling to spend our income on books and encyclopedias, and educational games.
So the same plan is being used for our children. We do not allow the slightest glimpse of a certain ability skip our radars.
Now the day care lady has noticed that. She started by telling me that baby Leo is clever, mashaAllah. Them she told me that she will stop adding his photos to the day care Facebook page because the other parents DO notice him and inquire alot about him, specially that -in spite of his early age- he does not cry when we leave him. So she said that she wants to protect him againt the "evil eye". After that she started bringing stories and board books for babies, inspired by baby Leo. Then she made several comments on how his speech abilities are improving fast and how he is using more complicated sounds.
The other day, she talked to me. She told me: your son -mashaAllah- is showing signs of cleverness. He has alot of potential. Do not leave him. Do your best to enhance his abilities, and inshaAllah he will grow up a special baby with a high IQ and special abilities.
And the idea is haunting me ever since!
How shall I deal with the potential that my son is showing?
Shall I take care of him and support his development and help him develop special abilities and high IQ? Isn't this going to make him an outstanding child that does not fit among his peers? Am I, this way, preparing him to be the odd one out? Am I making a child that will live in isolation? Shall I be raising his standards and complicating his life?
Or shall I leave him alone and allow him to grow up a normal baby and allow these special abilities to fade away, and let him become an average child? And sacrifice his intelligence for the sake of belonging with other kids?
I really cannot make up my mind!
I've taught for many years and have several children of my own, all different.
ReplyDeleteThere are many different kinds of" intelligences"...I'm not sure what the definition of " cleverness," used in this context, is.
First children usually do seem to be a little ahead because they are getting all the attention with no competition.
That's just an informal observation.
I'd say teach him whatever you want as long as he seems to enjoy it at this age.
Sure, you should encourage his learning.
I always liked to enrich the environment with items they could play with to learn and there were always books to be read,etc.
But I liked to make it fun and be aware of their short attention spans when they were little.
I don't think it will necessarily isolate him from his peers.
There will be lots of people like him and if he has a friendly manner and good social skills he will likely get along with most people...whether they are like him or not.
My goal for my own kids was for them to be strong in their culture,but also to get a well-rounded view of their world and enrich their lives.
I also kept in mind that formal learning environments were only a part of their interface with the world.
My favorite quote for them was from Mark Twain:
" I never let my schooling interfere with my education."
I agree with Kanumommy.
ReplyDeleteDon't wait to teach bubby Leo however make sure it is not too intense. Sometimes it could push a child to rebel and turn the complete other way.
Alhamdulilah though some Children have a natural love of learning and just become "clever" by themselves without pushy parenting. You can enhance a love of learning from an early age just by reading bedtime stories and having documenteries on in the house, taking him to museums as often as you can. And being mindful of how you are living your life in the sense of reading books and newspapers yourself ad what you say about those things( although I'm sure that's not you)
But if you want your child to exceed then there is no harm of doing extra maths lessons on a saturday morning just for example though balance that with swimming lessons or whatever he chooses to do another day. Create that balance!!
I really do believe if you implement the right things your child if God wills it will naturally excel
Ma sha Allah he's smart and may Allah increase him in knowledge Ameen
You both are making a good point.
ReplyDeleteEncouraging him to learn as long as he seems to enjoy to learn.
What I meant was not a specific type of "cleverness", I meant them all, as a package. It might have been better if I used "Bright" instead of "Clever".
When I thought of this, I had my niece in mind. She is a bright little 5 and a half years old kid, mashaAllah. She is academically clever, she is keen to learn, she is emotionally intelligent, she is social, she is aware of her surroundings very well, she is ahead of other children in her age.
Now with her cousin, she reached a stage where she stopped enjoying being with them because they care for nothing except "nail polish and dresses and make up all the time... they never try to learn something useful!"... I used her words!
So currently, she NEVER enjoys being with cousins. And when she has to, they get bored with her instructions and directions and advices.
But she found good friends at school, children as bright as she is. So now she and three other children are "leading" the class.
So yes, as Kanumommy said, if they maintain a good and friendly nature, children can finally meet people like them, and will be also able to adapt to people who are different from them, less intelligent, or with less advanced interests. And they can still be children and get silly some times! :-D
I'm sure with parents such as you and your husband Leo will do well.
ReplyDeleteSorry if I am brief today.
One of my relatives has disappeared.
As much as I am thankful for your sweet words, I am worried for your relative...
DeleteMay God bring him/her to family safe and sound...
You will be fine and if he's anything like mwah (me)over here he'll love learning and be perfect...I joke be in all honesty he seem's like he will thrive and in sha Allah he does!!!
ReplyDelete(Could'nt help but read your comment kanumommy sorry to hear)
Ya Rab... InshaAllah... I will love it if he turns to be like you <3
DeleteLets hope that Kanumommy will get good news soon... Ya Rabb...
Yep hoping so in sha Allah
ReplyDeleteShe sent a message to a couple of family members saying she is okay and will talk to us soon. Still don't know where she is, though.
ReplyDeleteOh subhanAllah she'll be in my prayers!
DeleteI really hope this all would turn out to be okay. Praying for her to stay safe...
DeleteThanks. I now think she's in ceremony with her own tribe and wants privacy. So I'm not pushing too hard for info. She needs to rest from some major activism she was doing. That stuff can wear you out. Being at one of the wiwanyang wachipi should help with that. I just wish she had told her sometimes- husband ( my husbands cousin) or her sometimes -dad ( her bio dad is dead) where she was going so we wouldn't worry. Usually one of them knows where she is,but this time neither did.
ReplyDeleteThank God she is fine...
DeleteLet her have all the privacy she wants as long as you know she is Ok :-)
Sure, it would have been easier if she would just inform some one where she would be. But at the end, it is good that she is safe :-)