It was a weird Ramadhan... the first of its kind...
One thing I can confirm: I am not the same person that witnessed the first day of Ramadhan. Not because of a one dramatic thing that happened in Ramadhan, but because I feel that I am currently changing quickly. My current circumstances as a working mother, and as a member of the management team of the organization I am working in... The need to prioritize my son's and my husband's needs over my interests, my new perspective of Ebadah (worship) in Ramadhan... the responsibilities coming from my managerial post, the need to lead a HUGE team without any backfire...
It was all so exhausting... so enlightening... and I can see that through all of that, I grew to become a REALLY different person.
I like the fact that I am acquiring more character qualities. I like that I am becoming more skillful. I am really hopeful that one day my son will look at me as a leader.
But I miss my old self. I miss being the sensitive pampered wife of my husband. I miss calling him to ask him for his opinion about some thing I intend to do. I miss having the luxury of not making my decisions by my own on the spot. I miss being the tender soul looking for protection in the arms of my man.
I know that, now, even to my husband, I am an asset. If he ever passes through turbulence, I know he can lean onto me. I am a source of strength, instead of being a dependent.
But still... I miss him being the strong man providing safety and security for his drama queen and contains her...
In any way, I wish you all a happy, blissful, serine and merry Eid... May all your good deeds of Ramadhan be accepted, and bad deeds be forgiven by the almighty, almerciful Allah...
Eid Mubarak! :-)
Awww that's so sweet, Eid mubarak to you and yours!!!
ReplyDeleteYour Missing the old you ..but look your husband has gained someone who can hold down a job and keep a home and raise a baby ma sha Allah....I bet he's happy AND not forgetting the inspiration you can be for other muslim mama's!!!
Thank you sister! Your words are such a sweet gifg of Eid!
DeleteMay Allah bless you and your family...
To be honest, givinv a good example of a productive Muslim mom is a big concern of mine. I really seek Allah's satisfaction through that and ask him to accepg my effort as 'Ebaadah... May Allah help us all be like he wants us to be!...
Have a good time!
ReplyDeleteSucks to ask your few Muslim friends to be careful in the middle of their festivities due to online and possibly meatspace idiots.
ReplyDeleteI've already been called every name in the book today, so I can imagine what they're getting.
Tragedy for everyone.
Thank you for your kind wish...
DeleteWhat?! Is the world going crazy?!!!
Aren't we able to accept each other any more?
I used to think that these backwards thoughts exist only here in the east, but they seem to be a desease of the whole humanity!
I know you are not a Muslum, and you are not my same ethnicity, but I will call you "sister" because you are my sister in humanity.
We are all the children of this earth. No matter how different we are, we are the same.
You, too, be careful. Stubbornly and quietly stick to who you are. One day, we all will be able to greet each other warmly and welcome our differences.
May God protect you, sister! :-)
Thank you.
ReplyDeleteIt's that so many people are reacting to the shooting in Tennessee.
Most people are good people...but I can see some idiot spraying bullets at a mosque in revenge.....especially concerning when it is a time when many Muslims might be gathered in one place.
There have been calls from some hotheads to have a " shoot a Muslim day."
So I've been online and elsewhere today with many others trying to stop this line of thought and guide folks to better info regarding Islam that the misinformation they are getting.
I hope nothing happens.
But one young Muslim woman wrote me and told me she was afraid to have kids.
Sad.
I just want to tell you: people like you make the world a place worth trying to live in.
DeleteHonestly!
You are doing a great effort trying to tell people not to be miguided by such idiotic examples. While you are not even a Muslum. This is very genuine. It is touching.
But what makes it painful is that, almost like always, an idiot has started this who happened to be a Muslim!
And instead of strongly condimning the shooting, alot of middle eastern Muslims are whining about the anti-Muslim rallies!
No, dear Muslims. One of your sons startef this, so pleas understand that your job is to condemn the shooting.
Genuine people like Kanumommy and other just non-Muslims should do the rest and stand up to the haters!
My God......
Thanks!
ReplyDeleteThat is so sweet!
Of course,I don't know much about what is going on in the Middle East regarding this. The American Muslim community is doing a good job of condemning the attacks.
Some leaders are saying all local Muslims should attend the vigils for the dead and are having prayers themselves for the affected families.
The thing that is so bad about this is that the shooter ,although a Jordanian born in Kuwait ,really seemed to be a well-adjusted American kid.
No one seems to know why he did it yet.
. So now some folks are saying no Muslims are " safe" no matter how " American" they seem.
That is absurd,of course.
I usually do a photo comment then showing our two serving Muslim members of Congress and Muslim service members of the US military,including the graves of some of them in the national cemetery.
That usually shuts up all but the most fanatical.
Then there is just the stupid misinformation.
. I was happy to tell someone who JUST KNEW that NO women in the Middle East were allowed to be educated that I had just finished writing an educated Muslim woman in the Middle East...you.
I was in the car with my husband heading to visit some relatives in Eid, and when I read your last comment, I was just so overwhelmed... I wanted to write alot of things at that moment on how responsible I felt, and how I appreciated your dedication, and how confused and surprised I was... But preferred to wait until I settle at home... and after that baby Leo got his fever and the roller coaster began so could not set to a proper key board and write back! :-)
DeleteHere I would say three important things:
First, I would thank you again and again for your dedication to defend causes that -from the point of view of alot of people- are not your causes. You are a universal human. A human cause is your cause no matter what.
Second, I would say that now I feel how great is the responsibility of each and every one of us, Muslims online, to carry and deliver the TRUE image of Islam, not what some third-world sheikhs who read a couple of books want us to believe and repeat.
Third, I would like to press again how important it is to create an independent "American Muslim" identity. Yes, American people should have their own version of Islam that coincides with their specific circumstances and culture. And immigrants from the Middle East should STOP dragging their political issues with them around the world. When they decide to immigrate to a non-Muslim country, they should keep in mind what the great scholar Ahmad Deedat once said, the country that you eat from its bread is worth defending.
It took me the whole day to post this comment, writing bits and bites every time I had the chance to. So sorry if it was not consistent. (It is not, I bet you!)
It was very consistent :-)
ReplyDeleteMy " baby" has a fever,too.
She is in college but is curled up on her bed here at home drinking tea and eating Popsicles.
Thank goodness my other kids are okay so far.
They have work to do.
I hope Leo is feeling much better! :-)
Far as I can tell, your wish for a uniquely " American" form of Islam is being fulfilled very quickly.
Reza Aslan, an American scholar you likely already know whom many Americans turn to ,muslim and non-Muslim, when crises happen, basically says the transformation of Islam is happening and "we are living in it".
Especially in America.
I can only report what I see happening in front of me.
The children of people from other places, as usual, aren't like their parents.
They are American and hold American views on things.
( one thing to make clear: there is, of course, not just one "American culture" or view on anything..so the kids could be influenced by several factors depending on where they live and with whom they associate)
Around here ,according to my kids observations of their friends,there appear to be muslim family discussions on everything from politics ( we are considered a very " progressive" region) to marriages.
Then there are Americans of different backgrounds whose families have been here for generations who convert and have no old-country " baggage" to deal with at all.
They appear to be clashing sometimes with those that do.
Bet this is interesting for their communities .
Those " third world sheikhs", as you put it, are going to have quite a shock when " American Islam" starts being more vocal. ;-)
Ops! Sorry for your baby... college or not, I am sure to you she is still a baby when she is sick! I hope she gets well soon...
DeleteBaby Leo is much better, thank God. We all are now...
A special version of Islam for each community is a necessity. This is a concept that already exists in Islam, but some people chose to ignore it for some reason. I know that America is not exactly a one consistent symmetrical body, but when I say an "American Islam" I mainly mean a form of Islam that does not contradict with the loyalty to America and that does not view America as the big evil (on one phone cabinet near my parents' house, the following sentence is spray painted in Arabic: America is the anti-christ! LOL). A form of Islam that an American citizen can commit to without living in a constant cognitive dissonance! Oh, and while feeling "Muslim enough" as well! :-)
I am really looking forward to see what the coming days (years?) will bring. Years ago, Mohammad Assad (previously known as Leopold Weis) stated that the real Islam is Liberal. I tried throwing this statement in front of some average Muslims people around me, and they were shocked! My father was one of the people who were very surprised to hear me say such a thing, but when I explained that "Liberal" does not mean some one who accepts to see his women walking topless on the beach, but rather refers to a strand of thought that relies heavily on open market economics and democratic practice, he appreciated the thought alot. He even asked me to download some of Mohammad Assad's books for him to read on his laptop! :-)
I'm glad the baby is feeling better.
ReplyDeleteMine is,too.
I don't think there will be too much cognitive dissonance with " being American "with the generation born here.
American Muslims obviously feel free to serve in all capacities already.
But I can't speak from personal knowledge ,of course...and I obviously don't know what it would mean to " feel Muslim enough".
Well, that is one definition of " liberal".
The shocking thing for the" sheikhs" you mentioned will probably be that any liberal-ness of American Islam will be liberal as most Americans define the term.
As with any large-ish faith here, I suspect American Islam will be reasonably diverse on a spectrum,but the young people are being influenced by a global culture with a lot of input from everywhere.
My own kids are happy with their tribal faith,which is far more "liberal" than anything the settlers brought,so it doesn't touch us much. But they enjoy watching this process. ;-)
I'm glad your 'baby' is fine now :-)
DeletePretty much correct. And I am really hoping that the middle eastern sheikhs who love to see themselves as owners of Islam would keep their fingers away and would stop trying to teach the young Americans who still have connections to their roots that this is a conspiracy that they should act against!
Lol!
ReplyDeleteAre these guys really a problem?
( Sorry, I don't know any!)
You live there, so you would know better.
Since my understanding of Islam from world religions class is that it doesn't have any real earthly center of power, where there is a final authority on any doctrine like, day,the Catholic and Orthodox Churches have, it would seem that it would be fairly easy to adjust your practice of it to your local way of doing things.
Maybe it would be easier if I told you what one friend of mine goes through ( this is a compilation of what she always gets when she is with us)
Questioner: So you're a Muslim?
Her: I am!
Q: But you don't look like a Muslim!
Her: Really?! What does a Muslim " look like"?
Q: you have blond hair and blue eyes.
Her: well, it's not against Islam to have blond hair and blue eyes.
( She is usually laughing by now)
Q: So...you must have joined the religion. ( She gets this from Muslims and non-Muslims...sadly).
Her: Nope! Born a Muslim like my parents and grandparents before me. We've been Muslim for hundreds of years. Back to the Ottoman Empire. I'm of Albanian heritage.
( This got really funny when some people from India bragged to her that their family became Muslims " 100 years ago" as a way to put her down and she calmly congratulated them on their " new" religion and told them her family would be glad to answer any questions since they had been at it for a bit longer....lol!)
Q: well, you aren't wearing anything on your head.
Her: It hasn't been the custom for a while where I come from to do that and my family doesn't. But if a woman wants to, it's okay, too. That's between her and God and nobody else's business.
Q: But you are hanging out with people from other religions.
Her: Muslims always have and usually do " hang out with people from other religions".
I'm a medical professional...lol...I don't treat just Muslims! I don't care if you are a Muslim, Christian, Jew, Buddhist, atheist, pagan, whatever. If you come to me and you are a human,you're going to get cared for.
Q: what about all the crazy muslim you-tubes?
Her: you don't have idiots in your own religion? You're fortunate if you don't. Look at all the crazy Christian preacher you-tubes and some crazy American politicians. Most Christians and most Americans think they are dumber than a box of rocks. They don't pay any attention to them. But I'll bet if someone from another country who never came to the US saw them, they might think all Christians and all Americans thought like that....which is wrong.
Q: So I see you're engaged by your ring? Are your parents picking your husband for you and forcing you to get married?
Her: ( this makes her really laugh) I met my fiancé here in the community and we dated and got to know each other and got engaged like any other American couple. Pretty boring typical romance, huh?
Q: what about all the violent stuff in the Quran?
Her: what about all the violent stuff in the Bible? You have to study it and figure out what was going on at the time to understand it. You aren't living like a Roman 2000 years ago and I'm not living like an Arab 1400 years ago. We're both modern Americans who happen to have two different religions but so what? People of different religions all over the planet live together successfully. Wish everyone did.
She gets a lot more questions, but that should give you some indication of how I'm sure a lot of American Muslims" do" their faith. But my experience with Muslims is admittedly limited. This is the way most of the ones I know talk, however.
Of course they are a problem :-)
DeleteWhere do you think these extremist young kids come from?
Islamic brainwashing is scary. It dehuminizes the other, and makes death a lusted wish. And these people always relate it to ahigher cause. Just like the Jesus Army and its hepnotising effect on the youth.
Your friend is a victim of the common steryotypes attached to Islam :-)
I am really not sure, wede the large Muslim nations keen to introduce themselves exclusively as 'the Muslims'? Or was it the lazyness of the average universal individual who does not wang to look beyond what the media presents?
It's hard to tell since I've never read a study of it.
ReplyDeleteAs for my friend...well, she gets tired of it, but she is like you and feels the responsibility to educate people.
She also , I think , feels a bit guilty because her appearance gives her a " pass".
She can go about without people even knowing she is Muslim because neither her phenotype nor her name meet any of the stereotypes most Westerners....yes, there are a lot of ones who buy into the media misinfo...associate with " Muslims".
Not sure what you meant by large Muslim nations introducing themselves as Muslims, but I know there are some leaders here basically saying the same things as you..."Don't drag that baggage over here. We have enough trouble as it is,"
So I don't know if people from outside the country are making too much of an impression on young Muslims here.
The attack in 2001 was from people outside the US and the latest one in Tennessee does not at present seem to have been connected to any outside influence, but it seems depression played a big part. Too early to tell.
I know there is supposedly a big effort by American Muslim leaders to combat those influences.
The reason I try to do what I can is that it will be easier for the native-born Muslims, as well as those from outside, to feel less embattled and less likely to be influenced by anyone destructive if they feel attached and accepted in their home. This is true with anyone. Feeling accepted and respected is important.
The Amelikanuis ....a lot of them....aren't really familiar with their Islamic fellow citizens yet, but education is key in everything and as people learn more they are less afraid and more supportive.
The local Islamic community, according to my daughter, has done quite a bit of outreach to answer questions and has joined in with all the other faith groups in everything from social justice to environmental issues.
As I monitor the social media, I see more and more non-Muslims standing up to people attacking the Muslim community.
This means there is more and more acceptance and " Islamophobia" is beginning to be condemned almost automatically.
I laughed when I saw the first commercial with a lady in a hijab in it.
When it shows up there, it means you are being " normalized" as part of American life.
There is going to be a long way to go, but I think the signs are hopeful.
Thanks for talking about this.
Well, the thanks go to you, actually, for genuinely engaging in this discussion.
DeleteI feel really comfortable when I hear how the community in the US is moving in small but sure steps to understand and -as you phrased it- normalize Muslims. Thoughts will still be a vague issue. And no one will ever be able to enter every head to see what thoughts are in there. But at the end, what is in the head will leak through the tongue. And I am really hopeful that the more we speak, the more we discuss, the more we bravely point at the sore wounds and do our best to sterilize them, regardless of the pain, we will be marching towards the aimed state of mutual understanding and tolerance.
Thanks again, and stay around.
Your input is always valuable! :-)